Friday, April 28, 2017

Say "YES" to saying "no"!

10 reasons to say "YES" to saying "no"

This is not one of those, "I've got this all figured out" blog posts.  I'm in the middle of a hard season - one in which I'm completely responsible for creating! Over the last several months, I have said "yes" when I should have said, "no, thank you."  And while I'm currently in over my head, with more commitments than I have time for, I know that something has got to change.  Here are ten reasons I will start saying "yes" to saying "no"!


Crazy seasons in life have a tendency to make you stop, look, and listen.  They make you re-evaluate where you see yourself and where you are headed.  By saying no to others, we are saying YES to ourselves!  And, not in a selfish way - in a self-loving way!


Do you sometimes say "yes" for FOMO?  What about fear of being rejected? Fear of being left out or losing opportunities?  I have been guilty of all of these things - multiple times!  An easy way to say yes to saying no is to ask yourself if the request truly lines up with your priorities and personal interests.  If not, just say no!


Every time you say "yes" to something, you are essentially saying "no" to something else.  We would all love more hours in a day but we must use what we have been given.  Saying yes to something we should say no to will eventually cause chaos in our lives.


By saying "no", you let someone else say "yes"!  What if by you saying a hesitant yes that it caused someone who really wanted to help to lose the opportunity? Don't ever feel guilty about saying no - your no could possibly be someone else's big opportunity to step up and shine!


If you are continuously saying yes, people will start to take you for granted.  If you become more selective on what you agree to, people will respect your yes more.


I'm a people-pleaser so this one is hard for me:  even if you say "yes" to every request, you will never please everyone.  Armed with this knowledge, it makes saying no a whole lot easier!  Why worry about telling someone "no" if you know that there will still be others you can't please?


As I said earlier, chaotic/crazy seasons tend to make you re-evaluate how you want things to run.  I'm currently over-committed and other than myself, who am I hurting?  The list is long:  my children, my husband, my relationship with God, even the people I've said yes to!  By saying "yes" I have to sacrifice my time with someone else.  This will definitely be a big consideration the next time I need to say yes or no to something!


By saying no, it keeps the peace - your inner peace!  Saying no means you know what you want and you aren't afraid to stand up for it!  YOU are worth the peace that comes with saying "yes" to saying "no!"


By saying "no", it give you time to do things you actually like.  When three of my (over) commitments end at the end of the school year, I look forward to enjoying some much-needed downtown at home, hanging out with the kids with no place to be, and getting back to something I've desperately missed - blogging!  By clearing out commitments that didn't fit with my current season, I'm allowing time for what truly brings me joy!


Saying "no" also keeps you from burnout mode.  Recently I was in the middle of a big decision.  I was serving on the board of an organization with a two-year commitment.  I had served one year but everything told me that I could not complete my final year.  As hard as it was, I knew that I had to say "no."  And, just like so many of the reasons above, I knew that I wasn't pleasing the organization, I knew that I was letting others down, and I was worried that I might not get this opportunity again.  But...  by making the right decision for me and my family I have gained a lot of inner peace!  It feels so good knowing that I am not trapped for another year and I have shown my family that they are my top priority.
10 reasons to say "YES" to saying "no"
I'm not telling you to say "no" to every opportunity that comes your way.  But I do think that by looking at your current situation and season and with lots of prayer that when you say no to things that won't enhance your life, your yes's will matter even more!

Don't fall into the guilt trap - stay true to you!!!  Here's hoping we can all make the right decision to say "yes" to saying "no" to things that won't enhance and make our lives better!  Why?  Because we are worth it!

10 comments:

  1. I love this post! I used to have "FOMO" but once my girls graduated from high school, and then college, I decided that it was OK to say "No, thank you"....and I do it quite often now. I don't feel guilty. I feel at peace. Exactly as you described! I am so much more happy then I ever used to be and so mad that I didn't start doing this sooner! Like, before the girls left the nest! Have a fabulous weekend! We are off to the beach house! Are you closer to moving back in to your house??

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    1. I'm learning that there is power in the word "no" - and not in a bad way. It's given me a chance to step back and see how I really want to spend my extra time! Oh, and we are hoping that we'll be back in the house this weekend! We completed the kitchen last night!!!

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  2. A thousand years ago when I was a teen-ager, I heard Bobby Knight (then at Indiana) say this: " The greatest word you can ever know is the word no. You can change a no into a yes when it is convenient for you but you can't change a yes into a no when you are in trouble."

    Something I have kept with me for 35 years.

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    1. That is SO good! I'm going to share that with our 15 year old!!!

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  3. Learning to say NO is such an art. Something that took me a lot time to learn, but now that I understand it, I am so much happier.

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    1. It is definitely freeing! And, I've noticed that I respect someone so much when they politely turn down an offer because it just wasn't' something they should do! It's not easy but so worth it!!!

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